Category Archives: Personal Development

Resources to improve every area of your life

Living Life On Your Terms

Why is it that so many people seem to think they know what’s best for everyone else, but they can’t seem to get their own shit together? A lot of people are living lives of quiet desperation wishing they had done this, or they had done that. Maybe that’s why they’re so quick to give advice or offer direction to someone that seems to be heading towards the same path they took. Unfortunately, they tend to offer the same advice that took them to a place in life that never intended to be in.

Now, of course, children need guidance from their parents. But once the time arrives for them to graduate high-school, it’s time to let them spread their wings a little and try to figure stuff out on their own. Too many people and parents think they know what’s best for them and they really don’t. Of course, they usually do this with great intentions in mind and are only wanting what’s best for the person. But, all too often this results in the ‘advisor’ being happy and not the person following they advice.

Do What Makes You Happy

Let me elaborate on that a little bit.

Let’s say you come from a family of doctors but you love architecture. And everyone in the family is counting on you to carry on the family tradition of being a doctor. But you really want to be an architect. So, you go to med school in order to keep everyone happy. That is everyone but YOU! Because every time you see an elaborate design you wonder what if. What if I would’ve become an architect. Every time you look in the mirror and you’re wearing scrubs you’re reminded that you’re doing something you’re heart really isn’t into.

You Can Change

You have two options when this happens. When you don’t follow your heart in the first place and realize down the road that you should have. You can either do what it is that you really want to do.

Or…

You can keep living a miserable life doing something you hate. But that feeling of wishing you would’ve followed your gut instinct is NEVER going to go away.

Oh, you can try to drown it out with drugs and alcohol. But when you get up the next morning that feeling is still going to be there. Plus, you’ll have a nice hangover.

If you don’t love your life then you are living on someone else’s terms. Find out what lights you up, fills your soul and brings your passion to the world. Do that! Anything else is doing a disservice to those that brought you into this world. Always remember to follow your dreams. They matter because you matter. ~Lewis Howes

 

It’s Not Too Late

You can’t use the excuse that you’re too old either. If you’re able to read this that means you’re still above grade. My gramma didn’t get her college degree until she was in her 60’s. And Colonel Sanders didn’t start Kentucky Fried Chicken until he was near retirement age. So don’t use age as an excuse, use it as a reason.

The following story is a great example of trying to live someone else’s dream before finally listening to yourheart and following your dream.

This is the story of a girl who knew her Plan A from the time she was a little girl, took a major detour, and came full circle 20 years later, and I’m here to tell you, it’s never too late!

I was raised in a middle class home by wonderful parents who both came from very poor families. They worked very hard to provide a home and a life for my sister and me that would be much different than what they experienced growing up. We weren’t well off, but we had everything we needed.

I was a musical kid from the time I was born. My whole existence was defined by music and I was very involved in it in school from 4th grade on. When I graduated from high school outside of Baltimore, MD, I decided to venture off and move 700 miles away from home to attend Belmont University, a very well known music school in Nashville, TN where I had received an academic scholarship. My natural inclination was to major in music and become a recording artist. Belmont was known for attracting the caliber of talent that generated star power. All you have to do is look at some of the talent I graduated with: Trisha Yearwood, LeAnn Womack, band members of Little Texas, and the list goes on. But my parents encouraged me to major in Music Business instead as that was the more practical choice that would assure me a steady job with benefits and 401K. I thought this sounded like a sensible plan, a plan for which I was not suited.

Fast-forward 20 years later, I am 14 years into a career in journalism with the largest newspaper company in the world, Gannett. I was living my Plan B, benefits and 401K in tow, and I felt like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole, and inside, the musically creative me was dying, until one day at work, I got a wake up call.

During a staff meeting with a new editor, we were asked to share something about ourselves with our co-workers that they may not know. Racking my brain, I thought, “What can I share that my colleagues of all these years don’t know about me?” When it came my turn, I told my co-workers that I played seven different instruments. All of them were surprised, and one of them told me they didn’t even realize that I was musical. This was like a knife to my chest. Here I was, the kid that had been defined by music my entire life, the one very obvious God-given talent I possessed, and I had shelved it. How could they not know that’s who I AM? I KNEW right then and there I had to make a change.

I started writing songs and playing writers nights here in Nashville, all the while, still working my full-time day job which I was TERRIFIED to leave because it was “safe.” What’s worse, the music industry is a “young “ person’s playground. Record labels don’t sign people in their 30s or 40s, especially women, so no sense in quitting my day job. But that was okay with me. I had resigned myself to being the best songwriter I could be. “I don’t have to be an artist,” I told myself. “Someone else can sing my songs.” But the artist inside of me kept tapping on the shoulder of my heart, reminding me that God gave me a voice and my own unique artistry for a reason.

In the meantime, I had been searching for a deeper sense of self-worth, self-love and self-esteem. I had been introduced by my sister to some authors and teachers of the law of attraction. I was seeking out a life that was more in line with spirit and looking for mentors in line with this new way of thinking. I started studying and reading everything I could get my eyes and ears on, and I was starting to gain a new perspective on things, on how I had lived my life up to that point and why I was living my Plan B. I realized I had a pretty unhealthy perspective that needed to change if I wanted break the ties that bound me.

I eventually found the nerve to trade in my day job for work in the world of promotional modeling. This would allow me the time flexibility, being an independent contractor, to pursue recording my first album, a pop-country album… so I thought. It was scary, outside my comfort zone, and sometimes I barely made ends meet, but I was on the path to Plan A, FINALLY!

In the winter of 2012, I co-wrote a Christmas song for my mom and dad. My dad was in poor health and I wanted to give him something very special for Christmas: a song reminiscent of the big band era he so loved. This was a big part of the music I grew up on and I had a very close connection with it. Unfortunately my father passed away right before Christmas that year and didn’t get to hear the song I wrote for him, at least not in his human form.

The following year, I did a crowd funding campaign and raised $36,000 to record an “all-original,” 1940s-style, big band Christmas album in honor of my father.

These days, I wake up every morning and write about, read out loud and visualize my goals for my music and my life. One of the things I wrote about and visualized, was my mentor, Bob Proctor, putting his ears to my Christmas album. Well, God works like magic when we come to Him repetitively asking and believing, and Bob not only got a hold of my album, but he loved it, and said he would like for everyone to have it, just in time for Christmas.

LaLa Deaton

 

Now go do what you should’ve in the first place.

~Dana

What Muscle Memory and Dreams Have In Common

We’re Here to Pump… You Up! ~Hanz & Franz

Do you remember Hanz and Franz from Saturday Night Live? Those guys were hilarious. The mention of muscle in the title reminded me of them, but this isn’t about being a meathead.

Have you ever wondered if you could do what you used to be able to do? Or wonder why you can’t do what you used to be able to do?

I have. And when I surprised myself doing something I used to do for a couple hours a day, 6 days a week, quite a few years ago, I had realized something.

Let Me Tell You About It

I played football in high school, and since I played football, lifting weights was a natural addition. Plus, my brother Jon was a big influence in getting me to start lifting weights.

High school was the end of my football career, but I continued lifting weights for several years after I graduated. In fact, me and my best friend were so committed to it that we usually pumped iron for a couple of hours a night and most Saturday mornings.

We were dedicated. And we liked doing it.

But the older we got, it seemed harder to find the time to pump iron two hours a day. Then I got married and had kids and he was going to school. So working out together was hit and miss. We had so much time and energy into fitness though that I couldn’t just quit.

Like so many people do, they get on the roller coaster of fitness. They workout for awhile, and then they slack for awhile. It’s really a vicious cycle.

Committed

A few years ago I decided to commit and get back into shape. But I didn’t have the desire to lift weights, aka pump iron, for two hours a day. I didn’t have the time or desire. So I bought one of the best selling workouts from an infomercial. You’ve probably heard of, P90X.

So I started doing it. And I was getting results. But my mind was so tuned into lifting weights that I didn’t know what kind of strength I was really gaining, or maintaining. Then one day I had to take my son to basketball practice at the YMCA and my daughter wanted to work out while we waited. After his practice, he came up to the weight room and I decided to see if I could still bench press 225lbs. So I told them to pick a side and get ready to spot me. In other words, save my life if I couldn’t press it.

I Was Shocked

I took the weight off the rack, took a deep breath and did the first rep.

Easily.

Then I did nine more. And I couldn’t believe it. I actually believe I could’ve done more than that, but I had two spotters that I wasn’t sure about how they would react if I got stuck. So I racked the weights.

This is a great example of muscle memory. Now I had been doing weight resistant exercises, like pushups. But I wasn’t doing any weight lifting and my muscles remembered what I used to be able to lift anyway. I hadn’t benched pressed for a few years. And here I was benching 225lbs for ten reps.

I Challenge You

Your brain is like a muscle. When you were younger, before you conformed and did what everyone else was doing, went to school and got a job. Or just got a job. You had dreams and high aspirations. But then you got in a rut and settled for what life gave you. You gave up on going out and taking what you want. On making the life you desire.

All you have to do is re-introduce your dreams to your brain. As soon as you ‘rekindle that fire‘ you’ll feel the passion you once had.

Just like muscle memory.

Think about your perfect day. Think about everything from the time you get up, to what you have for breakfast, to who you eat with and to what you do in the morning, afternoon and evening. Picture what you for fun and hobbies. Picture the life you were going to live before you let everyone and everything else dictate to you the life that you are living.

It’s within you, all you have to do is ignite that spark.

Punched In The Gut Instinct

stomach-punchHave you ever been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of you? Consider yourself lucky if you haven’t. But if you have, and I think most people have had the wind knocked out of them in one way or the other, I believe this is going to make a lot of sense to you.

Our Inner Compass

Life is a journey.

It’s a journey broken up into several different segments. For lack of a better reference, think of life as a trek from California to New York. Some segments are going to boring. Some are going to be challenging. Some you’re going to want to avoid all together. And some you’re going to get through as fast as you can because you can’t wait to see what’s at the end.

As with every journey, in order to get where you want to go, you must have something to guide you along the way.

Gut Instinct

That’s what it’s called, gut instinct. And the part that separates right from wrong is your conscience. You need both components because sometimes your gut instinct will be telling you that you can or can’t do something. But your conscience, at the same time, will be telling you if you should or shouldn’t do it. They’re kind of one in the same, but sometimes there’s a slight contrast if that makes sense. The conscience is more on the moral side of guidance.

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it.

Remember that.

Going Against the Tide

When you don’t listen to your gut instinct it’s like swimming upstream. If you’re a really good swimmer, you’re going to go nowhere. You’ll just be paddling to stay afloat and eventually you’ll wear out and just start floating with the current. And if you’re just an average swimmer the current is going to take you downstream backwards.

Rapidly.

99.9% Accuracy

I’ve learned, mostly the hard way because that’s how humans learn most of the time unfortunately, that you’re gut instinct is right 99.9% of the time. I’ve gotten hurt because I tried doing things that were beyond my abilities. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t push yourself at times though. I’ve ran out of gas because I didn’t stop to fill up when I should’ve. And my gut instinct told me to stop. I’ve gotten involved with business ventures that I knew weren’t right for me. But, I was focused on the possible outcome and thought the daily drudgery wouldn’t be “that bad.” That it would “work itself out.”

It won’t.

Let me tell you something.

If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, as far as starting a business goes, the daily drudgery will consume you quickly. I don’t care if your venture is going to make a billion dollars. And you won’t either because you’ll hate what you’re doing everyday. It’ll be like getting punched in the gut every morning and having the wind knocked out of you for the day.

NEVER get involved in a business if you’re not passionate about it. And if you have partners, make sure they’re just as passionate or you’re going to ruin a relationship.

Communication

There’s two forms of communicating.

Listening and speaking.

Listeners make the best communicators. That goes for listening to your gut instincts too. You’re not always going to be passionate about what you’re doing, but your gut instinct will let you know whether you should or shouldn’t do it. And sometimes it’s going to tell you to do some things you’re not going to be crazy about doing.

Do it anyway or get the wind knocked out of you.