Category Archives: Living Positive

The Day I Flatlined

flat-lineBeep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

We’ve lost him.

That’s the sound of death. We’ve all heard stories of people that have come back from the dead. Whether they’re in surgery, recovering from surgery or just terribly ill.

I’m one of them.

But thankfully that’s not the kind of flatlining I bounced back from.

Comatose

I woke up one Sunday morning and I couldn’t get out of bed. And no one could talk me into getting out of bed. I couldn’t find the motivation. Life had beaten me down and I couldn’t muster the energy to get up before the ten count. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, though. I had worked my ass off. I’d married an awesome, beautiful woman and was raising two kids that I was very proud of. But something was missing. I had no passion for what I was doing career wise. Sunday night was usually worse too because I knew what was coming over the next five days.

I had been letting other people have too much influence over my decisions on what I should do with my life.

MY Life

And it had taken its toll. I was burned out and my tank was empty. I had never felt like this before and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Insanity

Like a lot of people, I kept thinking things would get better on their own. It’s a lie we all tell ourselves because we all know that in order for things to change, only we can change them. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

I knew I could do something different, that I could be something different if I’d just put in the time and effort during my off hours. But I was so drained and life just kept throwing punches at me, that I couldn’t seem to drop the gloves and get a couple of jabs in. I always seemed to be on defense having to keep my guard up trying to avoid getting hit again because it seemed like no matter how much I hit back, I couldn’t counter the number of hits coming at me. The hits were financial and medical issues, which lead to more financial issues.

We Have a Pulse

Monday morning came like it always had and nothing had changed. That is nothing but my attitude. There are some things in life that are out of your control and the sooner you realize AND accept that the better your life is going to be. The bills kept coming and the health conditions weren’t going to go away… ever. But, I could get some jabs in and fight back if I didn’t throw in the towel. I knew what the results would be if I did that.

I had some skills that I wasn’t putting to use so when I decided to come back to life, I made a plan and started moving forward. You should do the same thing because life’s too short to not be doing something you’re passionate about. Even if you only do it as a hobby or part time.

Start enjoying the good things in life. There’s a lot of them if you don’t let the b.s. tear you down.

The ONLY Comparison You Should Ever Make

Apples & OrangesA few years ago, a friend of mine was in town on business and pleasure. He was a district sales manager for one of the largest glass companies in the world. When he was in town, he had an appointment with one of the car dealerships and asked me if I wanted to tag along.

It was a casual meeting.

I agreed to go for two reasons. First, because he was a great friend and secondly, I wanted to see what he did to make the amount of money he was making because I was trying to create a lifestyle like his. He had the new truck, a Corvette, a nice Harley and it seemed like he was vacationing a few times a year. Because he was vacationing a few times a year. And I’m not talking little weekend getaways on a tiny budget. He was taking nice vacations. And if they were weekend getaways, they were nice weekend getaways.

After the Meeting

On the way home we decided to stop for a couple of drinks and do some catching up. We were talking about our families, football, current events, work and your typical small talk. But I was shocked when the subject of work came up and he started telling me how miserable he was. I couldn’t freakin believe it. I said, “really, it’s that bad. But you make a ton of money, you have a lot of toys, you travel. What more do you want?”

But he hated it. He hated all the pressure the company put on him to perform. Especially since his division had been bought in an acquisition with another company and he knew they wanted to make changes. Changes like downsizing and hiring a younger person to take his position for a significantly reduced amount of money. He told me how they were always wanting more. And when he was working, which was most of the time, he was traveling. He hated being away from his wife and daughter all the time. And as far as having the toys go, he had them, but he rarely got to enjoy them because he was gone all week.

The Other Side

Obviously things aren’t always as they appear. My friend was making good money, but didn’t have that much time to enjoy it. But then you have the people who act like they have money, when in reality, they have the stuff but are struggling month after month just to make the payments. And they’re doing it for no other reason than to look like someone they’re not. They often refer to this as keeping up with the Jones’s. Plus, it’s making them miserable because carrying the burden of debt is no fun at all. It’s like filling a tire with air. The pressure keeps building and building until it bursts.

Trying to Be Someone Else

The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing is what other people want you to be; don’t let them put you in that position.

I used the comparison of money and material things in the example above because people tend to believe that having stuff levels the playing field. I know attracting women and being a superstar athlete are also two major things guys compare themselves to other guys over. You’ll never be a superstar athlete without superior talent though. And a lot of guys think that if they just have a lot of money, they’ll get the women. Maybe, but not the type of women they truly want.

If you pay attention to what’s happening in the world, just a little bit, you’ll hear about actors, doctors, lawyers, and businessmen who are getting thrown in jail for drugs. Or busted for sex scandals or caught cheating on their wives. And the worse thing, committing suicide.

Why?

Because they’re not happy. They don’t feel fulfilled. Too many people pursue careers that other people think they should pursue and they bury their true purpose deep inside. One can only do this for so long. People call these successful people crazy when they give up lucrative careers and go do something that carries no status and pays a fraction of the money.

But they’re happy!

The Only Comparison You Should Be Making

Compare yourself to the progress you’ve made, for whatever your purpose is.

That’s it.

The only comparison you need to make. Are you better than you were yesterday? Did you make any progress towards your goal this week? If not, why not? Maybe it’s not something you’re passionate about. If so, what were the key elements to making all the progress you made? Did you find your purpose?

Stay True to You

When you’re true to yourself everything around you improves. You’re more happy so you’re family is more happy. They don’t want you coming home and taking your misery out on them because you’re in a career you hate.

Figure out what your true purpose is. This may help you do that. Click Here!

I hope this helps you find happiness in your life. It’s never too late to change. The time is going to go by anyway, so you may as well be going after something you’re passionate about.

Tear Down The Walls

I remember when all the neighbors in the neighborhood knew each other. The people would congregate on each other’s porches and share stories until after dark while the kids were playing until they were forced inside to take a bath. And it wasn’t uncommon to just walk into your neighbors house if you needed something like sugar, flour or whatever.

But Times, They Are A Changin

There’s been a switch.

Something in society has changed. We have all this “social media,” but it’s really everything but social. People don’t answer their phones, but if you text them as soon as it quits ringing they respond within seconds.

What the hell?

What are we afraid of?

We don’t have to get along with and like everyone, but we can at least be considerate and tolerant of different views.

Can’t we?

Maybe it’s not possible anymore. But if we don’t figure out how to get along better things could get real ugly and make life more challenging than it already is. And really for no particular reason. It’s really pretty simple. If you don’t like or get along with someone, don’t hang around them. And don’t go out of your way to annoy them. Just avoid them.

Sure, one bad apple can ruin a barrel. But why not remove that bad apple and avoid it rather than changing the way we behave to appease it?

I read the following excerpt in an email from Michael T. Smith and it inspired me to write this. After you read the following, I think you’ll agree.

Tear Down the Walls

I came home from work. There was a note on our apartment door, “Workers will be installing partitions on the balconies on July 21st and 22nd”. It was the 20th, but when I entered our apartment, there were two men on our balcony, putting the final touches on the new wall that separated our side of the balcony from our neighbor’s side.

They told me they started early.

Previously, there was only a four foot wrought iron fence between us. We’d spent a lot of time over the last couple of years sitting outside talking with them. It was our common area. There was never a problem. They became friends soon after they moved in. We enjoyed the conversations we’ve shared.

We became family.

Sadly, other apartment dwellers in our complex do not get along. There have been tensions, complaints and disagreements …so much so, the management of our complex decided to put up walls.

We feel segregated from family and friends.

We don’t need more walls. We need more openness. We need to communicate. We need to talk, learn from others and teach them. Sharing is the gift that grows. Walls prevent communication, grow suspicions and divide people and cultures.

There are those who want to build walls between countries. I just learned on a minute scale, walls don’t work.

Tear down the walls!

Let’s share!

Let’s talk …communicate.

Tear down the walls!
Michael T. Smith